The Beast That Swallows Its Young

The Beast That Swallows Its Young from Matt Kresling on Vimeo.


I just received the promissory note for my second student loan. The loan is meant to pay for the first semester of my graduate school to become a high school teacher. The one preexisting loan I have from my undergraduate career, about 2,500 dollars, is the foundation of what's probably going to amount to about 25,000 dollars worth of student loans.

I'm getting off light.

I was fortunate in an unfortunate situation. When my mother died, I was left an inheritance that was meant solely for the purpose of paying for my higher education. Refusing to allow her single-parent status from taking away the possibility of a better future for my sister and I, my mother made paying for college the most important thing in life. The amount she left us was enough to put my sister through Xavier University in Cincinnati, and myself through Fordham in New York City. My mother's dedication to her work is what allowed me to be able to go to college and give myself a chance at giving my children an even better life that I have.... or so it's supposed to go, I guess.

Then the well... it went dry. No more inheritance. Bye bye. Four years at a University, a car, studying abroad and an all expenses paid tour of Europe. It was all paid for by my mother's inheritance. I've used a slew of justifying reasons why it was okay for me to spend it rather than save it, but there's always been that other part of me that knows that I'm terrible with money. Having it was great. Didn't really have to work. Didn't worry about it. Just called up the bank when the money ran out, gave 'em some bullshit reason for why I needed it, and then spent it on something completely different. I had no one telling me what to do, and I knew it. I figured I had enough to get me to through college. Go through four years at a Jesuit University, and come out on the other debt free on the other side? Are you kidding? And so it started. No work ethic.

I have a friend that so pointedly said to me right around the time of graduation, "You could get a drunk monkey through undergrad". She's right. The system of higher education really doesn't make it difficult for people to get a degree. This has caused the market to become flooded with millions of "bachelor" students with the same degree fighting for a limited number of jobs. The parity is suffocating. Wages go down because we're all replaceable, and as a result, it takes people ten years just to earn enough to cancel out what they spent on their seemingly useless undergraduate degree.

Graduate school, though, is a different story. See, when you decide to go to graduate school, you're telling employers that you're really committed. You dedicate just a couple more years to hone the skills you want to offer employers, and the employees reward you by paying you more money to pay off school even faster. It all seems really great, right?

As a prospective teacher, I'm not supposed to gripe about the educational system. I'm supposed to tell all my students how great and important college is supposed to be, which I truly believe it is. However, in the age we live in, it has become impossible t teach each other. We do a good enough job at failing to teach ourselves, but when it comes to educating our children, in a world where two thirds of the technology that they learn today will become obsolete in two years, we are failing.

I'm joining the teaching profession already understanding that I will be fighting in a losing battle. I'm not a defeatist. I'm a realist. I believe that, when used correctly, America's concept of an "educational system" actually works. It's designed to accelerate learning, and when students apply themselves and teachers do their jobs, practical and theoretical progress is made. The problem is the lack of family structure in the country. Education, whether it's obsolete or unattainable, simply isn't considered to be very important in a lot of areas in the country. When families are broken, pressure gets put on on young people to fend for themselves, and it puts pressure on teachers to compensate for that lack of home support. Meanwhile, society will accept nothing less than No Child Left Behind. Teachers fight in a losing battle: constant pressure from above with no support from below.

So we know that we can't blame the kids. We can't really blame the teachers because they're not the ones making the decisions. I supposed we could blame the administrators, but that would cost us our jobs... how about Washington. Yes, it's Obama's fault. Or how about we do everyone's favorite by copping out and blaming "parents". Personally, I'm not in the blaming business. The failure of America's educational system is symptomatic of democracy and humankind. All there's left to do is handle education the way we feel is best... sort of like changing the tires on a totaled car and sell it for half the retail value. I'm gonna be a warrior in an endless battle. I'm gonna be a teacher.

My reasons for teacher are far reaching and too extensive to add to an already ranting spiel about education. I don't really know if I've come to any conclusion about my own beliefs regarding education. I'm twenty three, so my beliefs are naturally limited. I believe that an education is important, but I don't believe it's everything, and I certainly don't believe it's the only thing. Lots of smart people can learn everything they need to know without needing instruction; they're called "enlightened". For the rest of us, we are left to our own devices. The system can be better. I know it can. I just can't come up with any answers at the moment.